My greatest accomplishment in life is having my kids. They have been gracing my home with their joy, laughter, tears, and fights for over 19 years now, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
My oldest son moved out about six months ago, and I miss him everyday, even though we speak multiple times a day. Then, my 17 year old son decided to visit his older brother for a week to help out with my grandson while his dad is at work, and my house just seems so empty. I still have my 9 and 10 year old daughters here to entertain me, but sometimes I just don't feel like I connect with my girls the same way I do with my boys. This sounds terrible, even to me, but there is something so different with the bond I share between them. My boys were the easy ones. Sure, they got into some trouble and stressed me out to the max some days, but they always came back to me to talk or help them straighten things out. We have never let bad feelings come between us, and they seem to understand what I go through more than my girls do. Hopefully with age, my girls will be a little less self-centered and not think that the world revolves around them.
Don't get me wrong, my girls are my babies, and that may be part of the problem. I waited for six years after having my sons to try for a girl, and I got one. I had my tubes tied shortly after giving birth, and four weeks later, I was told that I was pregnant AGAIN. You can imagine the shock I was in after just having a baby girl, but God knew what he was doing, because He gave me another baby girl twelve days before my oldest daughter's first birthday.
After having just boys for so long, I was so pleased to be able to buy pink and purple outfits, with lace and cute little sayings on them. I may have overcompensated over the years, and now I am paying for it by my girls thinking that it's all about them. I have tried over the years to calm down on the spoiling and doting, but it is so much harder to do with cute little girls....ugh!
I struggle with chronic pain on a daily basis, and I have since before my girls were born, and it even limited the amount of time that I was able to hold them when they were little. I feel so guilty for not being able to do things with them like I did with my boys, and sometimes I think I have failed them as a mother. My girls will never have the memories that my boys do of mom playing catch with them out in the yard, or swinging them around by their arms to fly. My girls will only have the memories of mom attempting to kick a soccer ball with them, and trying to do fingernails and crafts with them. We still get out to do little things as a family every chance we get, but I feel like my girls got cheated by my pain as well as myself. I want to be that mom that has the energy to take them anywhere and everywhere they want to go, and actually participate in the things that they enjoy.
Hopefully one day my girls will see what I deal with on a daily basis, and not just think that I don't care about what they want. I am only one person and because of my chronic pain for the past 17 years, I am only about half a person. Maybe they will understand some day that I do all that I am able to do with them, and even then, most days I push myself harder than I probably should, just so I don't let them down.

With all of my physical limitations holding me back, I desperately needed to find not only something to earn an income from home, but to be there to raise my children. After trying out many different online programs that promise the opportunity to make money, I was so relieved once I found SFI. I now work during the day to build my business while my children attend school, and on the nights that I suffer with too much pain to sleep, I usually sit down at my computer and do a little more activities to gain knowledge that I can pass onto my team of affiliates. The more I learn, the more I can teach them so that we can all succeed with an online business.
I love what I do now, and although I am only one person, I am determined to make a difference for as many people as I can. If you live a life similar to mine and are looking to earn some money while staying home with your kids, join my team and I can show you how to build a great business too.
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